Greg Glover, May 8, 2024 Updated May 11, 2024
This week, we are seeking a Bordeaux bandit, chardonnay shop-lifter; the puns really write themselves. But, the value of what police say our suspect took makes things a bit more serious. In fact, it makes the crime a felony. "Normally, on Crime Stoppers, we wouldn't bring you a small shoplifting case," explained Chattanooga Police Sgt. Victor Miller. "But, in this case, he took 30 bottles of wine, which is out of the ordinary."
Standby. You haven't heard the half of it, yet. To the Northshore Whole Foods we go, just down on Manufacturers Boulevard. It was Wednesday afternoon, May 1st, around 4:00 PM.
"So, you could imagine it's probably busy," Miller said. "How he didn't get noticed, immediately, putting 30 bottles of wine in his pants, I'll never know that, either."
Yes, investigators say, somehow, the suspect managed to get out of the grocery store with more than a case of vino stuffed in his chinos. "You can even see in the photo it looks like he's even trying to disguise it with a jacket. It looks like it's bulging out from the wine," added Sgt. Miller.
At thirty bottles, he may have been testing his limits, but, this was probably not a crime of opportunity. "You think that it takes a lot of planning to be able to fit 30 bottles of wine in your pants," Miller postulated. "So, he probably used some duct tape or something to hold his pant legs closed so the bottle would not fall out." Certainly not, because he did not swipe swill. His haul is valued at $2,300 total, which is nearly $77 a bottle.
We have only one picture. "The suspect appears to be a white or Hispanic male," explained Miller. "It's a very good photo. You should know him immediately."
As amusing as it may be to picture our suspect putting away a case and a half of adult grape juice, all on his own, police believe he stole it for resale. So, if you got a good deal on what should have been a pricey Pinot, that may be a clue. We have up to $1,000 reward available for your good tip. "Even if you don't know who he is, maybe you know where he hangs out, a friend or family member, where he lives, where he goes to school, or anything like that," said Miller, "Call into Crime Stoppers. Provide that information. He'll never know you called."
That is because we will never ask for your name, just your good information about our suspect. The number is: 698-3333
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